Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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