Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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