I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize