worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
