Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
