u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
