Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
