East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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