Just fell off a train. Bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
