i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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