Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize