Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
