I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
