i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
