Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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