It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize