youre lurking in front of me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
