Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
