worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
