I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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