Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
