There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
