There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
