At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
