Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
