Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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