it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
