You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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