I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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