Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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