All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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