My room smells like vodka and shame
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
