So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
