I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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