Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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