so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
