shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
