Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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