At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
