she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
