You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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