Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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