I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
