if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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