Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
