So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
try to milk me bitch
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
