Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
