btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are we still banned from the library?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
