My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
