Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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