Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
