I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Operation Purity has been aborted
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
