if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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