i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
