question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
