the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
