Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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