I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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