I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
