I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
