So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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