you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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