We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
