Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
