And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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