we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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