Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
