The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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