your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
...so i touched it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
